Seasons change, they shift with the natural rotation of the sun. People change too. I am always questioning who I am because I am always evolving. This last year has brought a major shift – a changing of seasons to my life. I am reaching my Autumn and I am shifting into bright bold colors.
I am accepting who I am. The good and the bad. The light and the dark. I am not perfect. I am shadows, depression, mood swings, addiction, perversion, sado masochism and the stuff that fuels nightmares. I am also Love, hope, tolerance, spirituality, enlightenment, laughter and joy. I am balanced. Sometimes the scales tip a bit, but the powers that be always help to balance things back out in the long run.
I am embracing what sparks my heart and soul – while releasing that which lowers my energy. Sometimes the releasing hurts. I talked about that in my previous post “Letting Go”. Sometimes what’s harder is accepting the things about yourself that you can’t let go – but have to consciously work through. You can’t always point blame at others. Shadow work is a psychological term everyone should know and practice.
I have done a lot of soul searching in the last year. I turned 40 and started questioning lots of things. I have discovered more about myself in the last year than I have in my lifetime. I have discovered people I thought I couldn’t live without, are not truly loyal and I don’t really need them in my life. I’ve discovered those I thought were done with their role in my life – reappearing to play another similar yet different role. I’ve let some people go and pulled some closer. I am shifting.
Thank you to those who have stuck with me and to those who have recently joined me along the way. Thank you to those who have shown their true colors and made it that much easier to realize I’m ok without you.
Autumn approaches and this Fall is special to me because the autumn of my life is just creeping into view as well. Seasons are shifting and I choose to continue to grow and thrive with the coming changes.